Spring Offensive
by geekchic79
Summary: Ernst and Hanschen face the prospect of being drafted into the German army at the start of World War One, based on what could have happened after the musical ended. Ernst/Hanschen, title taken from Wilfred Owen's poem
1. Who's for the game?

**A/N: My first Spring Awakening fic! I was reading the original play and in the essay at the front it says that the remaining characters would have probably become caught up in WW1. I haven't seen it done before so this is set about a year after the musical ends and revolves around Ernst and Hanschen's experiences. Enjoy!**

"Roll up! Roll up! Ladies and Gentlemen! Which of you fine young lads are going to come and join the Kaiser's army? Come on! Don't be shy, fight for your country! Germany's in trouble and she needs your help!"

Ernst Robel stood alone at the side of the road watching the procession pass, the bright flags, booming voices and rolling drums raged through his head making him uneasy. He hadn't come into town for this.

"Come on lad!" A moustached man in military uniform complete with a shining row of medals thrust his face close to Ernst's. "Don't be a coward, none of the girls like a coward, do they? Fight for your country, fight for your God!"

Ernst stared up at the man with sad eyes, and then remembered that the man could not know that the prospect of having all the girls he wanted was unlikely to convince him to join up. The crowd that had gathered to hear the officer speak was pressing closer to him and the cold night air rang with their screams and hollers.

"Come on boy!" One woman shouted, "What are you scared or something?"

"Frightened? Oh no need to be dear, it's like an adventure!"

"You'll be doing your duty"

"One heroic campaign and you'll be back home by Christmas 1919. I guarantee it!"

"All the ladies love a man in uniform!" The women in the crowd broke into cackles of laughter after the last comment. Ernst tried even harder to keep his eyes fixed to the floor, hating it, hoping the ground would some how open and swallow him up.

Georg and Otto had left for France last week, complete with crisply starched new uniforms, shiny metal guns, tin hats, back packs and waves of admiration from the crowd, kisses and promises from Anna and Thea. Their parents were so proud. Melchior had left Germany after running away from the reformatory, following his old friend's plan of fleeing to America, it was ok for him, and yet here was Ernst stuck in the middle of a war he did not want or understand. What were they fighting for? Hanschen would say for the greed of the Kaiser and the willingness of the generals to sacrifice a thousand lives for one square foot of a muddy field in Bapaume. From reading Melchior's letters Ernst knew the reasons were unjust. He pulled his thin jacket closer around his sinewy body, if he went who knew if he'd even come back?

Suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Have you been waiting long?"

Ernst looked around quickly to make sure that no one was watching, thankfully the crowds attention was now on the General and another innocent victim, he pressed a soft kiss to Hanschen's cheek. Hanschen looked down at an obviously distressed Ernst.

Seeing the cause of Ernst's misery, Hanschen shook his head sadly. "Dear Ernst, you shouldn't worry so much. They were here last week, they were here the week before, and neither one of us has been sent to fight." Hanschen's fingers played up and down Ernst's arms, but the dark haired boy continued to stare at the line of soldiers marching through the centre of the town.

"Really Ernst" Hanschen said impatiently, "Just because Otto and Georg went doesn't mean we have to go too"

"B-but I don't want to go," Ernst stuttered, "the bible says thou shalt not kill" he paused,

"I thought we'd long given up on what the bible says" Hanschen shot back, a wicked smirk on his lips.

Ernst returned a half smile, "Love isn't a sin," he replied, "I just don't want to leave you-"

"And do you really think that's going to happen?" Hanschen reached a hand to stroke Ernst's cheek

Ernst said nothing, but the twisting, squeezing feeling of guilt in his stomach had lessened. He leant in to Hanschen's touch. What with his parents pressuring him to join the fighting he hadn't seen the object of his affections in a few days.

Hanschen grabbed the younger boy by the hand "Let's go to the vineyard."

Ernst smiled, knowing all to well what that meant.

SPRINGAWKENINGSPRINGAWAKENINGSPRINGAWAKENINGSPRINGAWA

They lay on their backs in the grass, Ernst lazily poking grapes into Hanschen's mouth, more and more, until Hanschen, who had not been chewing, burst out laughing, spraying Ernst with grape juice.

"Hey!" Ernst giggled

"Sorry" Hanschen spluttered, wiping his mouth and giving Ernst a smile that made it hard for him not to melt right there on the spot.

Ernst chucked the last grape at Hanschen's head in revenge.

"Ow!"

Ernst was unable to control his laughter, suddenly he felt himself pinned to the ground, Hanschen's weight on top of him.

"That hurt," Hanschen growled, smashing their lips together. Ernst just managed to catch his breath and ran his fingers through Hanschen's blonde hair, pulling their bodies closer, the heat between them warming the cool night air.

"Wait-" Ernst stuttered

Hanschen let out a low moan, trailing kisses across the younger boy's face, when it came to Ernst 'wait' was not a word in his dictionary

"Hanschen, I think I-" Ernst gasped, Hanschen's mouth on his neck was sending jolts through his stomach, "I think I hear someone-"

Hanschen stopped abruptly, pulling away from Ernst, disappointment in his eyes, like a child who has been denied his favourite treat; Ernst couldn't help but lean in again.

Ernst closed his eyes, Hanschen's lips were just millimetres away, the thought of his touch still scared him a little, his breathing grew heavier and Hanschen let their lips touch just for a second before pulling away, knowing what would happen to them if they were caught.

"Good evening children" A cold voice cut through the breathy silence

Ernst sighed, at seventeen and sixteen they were hardly children any longer

"Good evening Herr Sonnenstitch" they both answered in a monotone

"What are you doing down here this late in the evening? Surely you have studying to do?"

Ernst began to stutter, Hanschen elbowed him sharply in the ribs. "We _were_ studying Herr Sonnenstitch" he answered coolly

"Oh yes?" Herr Sonnenstitch enquired almost spitting with rage at Hanschen's seemingly unafraid manner. He turned to Ernst. "Any particular subject, Herr Robel?"

"Uhh, Ahh…" Ernst turned to Hanschen in a desperate bid for some kind of inspiration. "Just ummm biology"

Hanschen let out a splutter badly disguised as a cough.

"What kind of Biology?"

"Human, Herr Sonnenstitch"

By now Hanschen's shoulders were shaking with silent laughter, he bowed his head in an attempt to keep their secret. Ernst bit back a smile and gazed innocently up at his teacher, a year had been a long time to hide their relationship from the world, at first Ernst been frightened, that there actions were sinful, that they would be found out and sent away or killed, but by now they new the tricks so well, Ernst figured it was just the way it had to be. They had their secret places, the idea of 'study dates' and 'sleepovers' convinced their parents that their reasons for spending so much time together were not suspicious and Hanschen kept all his letters from Ernst stuffed down the back of his bookcase where he knew his mother would never look.

Herr Sonnenstitch was eyeing Hanschen suspiciously, he held to small sheets of paper in his hand.

"Well you won't have use for that for much longer," he barked. "The Kaiser's army is looking for volunteers and the school has identified you both as those who would most benefit from a spell in the trenches. You leave tomorrow."

**A/N: Duh duh duh! Will they escape before they're sent away? Will they survive together in a military training camp? Will they even make it back home? I'll try and update soon :p Please review!**


	2. Vergissmeinicht

Hanschen sat on his bed, his feet on the cold wooden floor, he stared fiercely up at the spidery patterns the plaster made across the sloping ceiling. He had been sent home to gather his things together. His regulation issue pack lay discarded in one corner, his trunk and wardrobe remained un-opened.

"Hanschen?"

Hanschen grit his teeth, "Yes Father?"

"What is taking you so long? You're mother and I are waiting!"

Silently, Hanschen crossed the room and picked up the small metal pistol, standard army issue, that he had flung there, behind his bookshelf, in an effort to make all that was happening seem less real. He touched the cold barrel and looked towards the door with blank eyes that gave a way no trace of feeling.

"Hanschen!" his father barked, "Hurry up in there!"

Hanschen paused for a moment, "yes father"

He had no choice, refusal to fight meant death, and Hanschen wouldn't have worried were it not for some tiny twisted fear in the pit of his stomach; that somewhere in that obscure countryside of heaven he and Ernst might miss each other.

"HANSCHEN!" his father roared "The train leaves in half an hour!"

Hanschen hastily tour himself away from the pistol and wrenched open his chest of draws, in a fit of rage he stuffed clothes, books, postcards into his bag with little consideration or care, stopping only when it came to his box of letters from Ernst. He turned the shiny silver case over in his hands. Their packs were sure to be searched.

Suddenly an idea caught him, hastily stripping down to his underclothes he cast his school attire aside and pulled on his military uniform, it was uncomfortable and stiff, the wool pulled and scratched against his skin. Hanschen was not one for sentimental gestures, he never had been, yet he found himself placing the bundle of letters in the inner pocket of his military coat, just over his heart.

Glancing one last time around the sparse bedroom he smoothed down his hair, pulled open the door, and ran down the stairs.

SPRINGAWAKENINGSPRINGAWAKENINGSPRINGAWAKENINGSPRINGAWAKENING

Ernst waited anxiously at the gate, the train had arrived and passengers, mostly young soldiers, and their families massed around him in a giddy throng of goodbyes and parting kisses. Hands reached to clutch hands at the windows of carriages for one last time.

"Good bye Ernst" mumbled his little sister in her baby voice, clutching at his legs. She hadn't been told exactly where he was going; just that he was doing 'God's work.'

"I'll miss you Ernst" she clutched at her doll and began to cry, tears rolling down her pale cheeks "Who's going to tell me stories?"

"Oh, Anike don't be silly" Herr Robel said sharply, "the boy will be home in time for Christmas."

"Don't keep telling her that," Ernst whispered distraught, "how many from our town have you seen leave for France this year? Thousands. And how many have returned?

"I'll have no more of this Ernst!" his father hissed "you are to go and do your duty!"

'And what about yours?' Ernst thought.

Suddenly he thought he glimpsed Hanschen's face in the midst of the crowd, "Goodbye mother, and goodbye father," he said, hastily reaching to kiss his mother on the cheek. He bent down, hugging Anike tightly he lifted her small body up to his chest, her dark head resting on his shoulder.

"Goodbye Anike"

She sniffed, clutching on to the collar of his jacket. Ernst got on badly with most of his family, aunts and uncles included, but ever since he was nine it had been him and Anike against the world. Her dark serious eyes seemed to understand every detail of the stories that he made up for her, she was unafraid of Hanschen and the games he and Ernst devised for her often went on for hours. Too young to have been corrupted by the prejudices of the adult world she understood and accepted that Ernst and Hanschen were more than just friends and she knew when to distract mama and when not to knock on Ernst's bedroom door.

Ernst set her down; the train began to grind into motion, steam poured across the platform and the whistles screeched.

"Lets go-" a voice whispered in his ear.

Trying to keep from his mind the shocked faces of their parents, and the tearful eyes of his sister, Ernst felt Hanschen's hand pull his up onto the train and into an empty carriage.

Ernst gave his family a final wave and turned to pick up his bag -only to find Hanschen's face inches from his own.

"So, Herr Robel," he smirked, "I've always loved a man in uniform…"


	3. Anthem for doomed youth

Anthem for doomed youth

"Alright you, get down on the ground" the biggest boy spat

"You'd best finish cleaning my boots by tomorrow or there'll be trouble" the thin weasely boy grabbed Ernst by the hair, pushing his head to the floor.

"Please-" Ernst mumbled as his face hit the cold muddy floor of the barracks.

"What's the matter? You're _boyfriend's_ not here to protect you?!"

The others were starting now, jumping down from their bunks to join the commotion that was building in the centre of the room.

"Hanschen! Oh darling Hanschen, please _please _help me!" One boy mimicked Ernst's softer voice; shouts of cruel laughter came from the faces that moved closer to Ernst on the ground. Legs kicked out at him, fingers pinched and punched his arms.

"I love you! I miss you! Save me from the nasty boys!" the twisted clown was playing to his audience, his voice rising higher and higher, his arms gesticulating wildly.

"Please, please stop-" Ernst gasped as a leg kicked him in the stomach, he doubled up in pain.

"Like hell we will" a deeper voice chimed in, "Freak"

"Faggot"

"Loser"

"I'm sorry," Ernst wept, "I'm sorry-"

He'd been here for three days. Three days of being screamed at by Generals, three days of being shoved, tripped and beaten by his fellow soldiers and three days wondering if Hanschen was in a similar condition in his barracks across the river.

Ernst had given up trying to stop them, he took the punches knowing there was little he could do to deter those who tormented him.

"You damn right you're sorry; you're going straight to hell, both of you!"

"He's got nothing to be sorry for."

Ernst turned his head sharply, there just inside the door way, as if by some miracle, stood Hanschen.

"If you have a problem with him, you may take it up with me"

The boys began to retreat, whether they admitted it or not, they were scared of Hanschen.

"Let's go Ernst"

Ernst struggled to his feet; Hanschen would not look at him. He followed his lover silently out of the harshly lit barracks into the pale moonlight and the cool midnight air.

"I'm sorry"

"Don't apologise"

"But-"

"It's nothing"

Ernst sat heavily down by the willow tree, Hanschen joined him, his toes resting in the water of the river's edge. It was only now that Ernst noticed.

"Hanschen you're soaking!"

"Well I don't know if you paid much attention in school Ernst _dearest _but rivers tend to be quite wet."

"You mean you swam all the way over here?" Ernst was relieved to have the old Hanschen back, but his eyes still searched the blonde boy's face for an answer. Instead Hanschen moved closer to the water's edge, dodging the question.

"So Ernst," he continued, back to his seductive self, "Do you think we could, well, play the system here too?"

"How d'you mean?" Ernst questioned, he could only half see Hanschen's pale face through the moonlight.

"Oh I think you know," Hanschen smiled, fingering a dark lock of Ernst's hair, it sent a shiver down his spine.

Ernst let back against the tree as Hanschen began to kiss him. All was forgotten, the bruises, the insults, until-

"Private Robel! Private Rillow! What in God's name do you think you are doing!?"

"Oh God." It came out as a low whisper, which half caught in Hanschen's throat as he pulled away from the younger boy.

Ernst shut his eyes, a tear seeping out from beneath the closed lid; the ending had had to come soon; it had always been only a matter of time before they were caught and then god knew what.

"I love you," Ernst whispered, "Even if we're k-"

"Don't say it," Hanschen whispered, his voice almost pleading, "please don't say it"

The General was moving towards them now; he paced furiously, his face red, his eyes bulging.

"Never! In my ten years as a senior officer have I witnessed such-"

The two boys were standing now, bolt upright by the willow tree, saluting a man, and a country, that meant nothing to them and would do little for them even if the war was won.

"Both of you! Disgusting! Sickening! There are two trucks leaving tonight, one taking supplies to the Somme, one taking soldiers to Lausanne. Rillow you will replace Private Peaceful in Lausanne, Robel you will accompany the supplies to the Somme. Alone."

Ernst glanced across at Hanschen, his face gave away nothing, and he was trying not to shiver as the cold from the river water began to seep into his already numb bones.

"Sir, we have not finished our training" Hanschen stated

"Then you will learn on the field!" The General cut in his mouth a huge screaming cavern. "I will not have such repulsive violations of God's law, not in my division!" his hated face was now sweaty and contorted, "Do I make myself clear?!"

Ernst looked desperately at Hanschen

"Private Robel, Private Rillow! Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes Sir"

"Yes Sir"

"If you are found even within a mile of each other again I will personally see that you don't even live long enough to make it to the battlefield!"

Hanschen bent over to Ernst's pack for a second, then lifted the leather bag off the river bank and handed it to him wordlessly. The General grabbed him by the collar of his uniform, forcing him to walk towards the waiting truck and the jeers and shouts of the other soldiers.

Ernst turned the pack over in his hands, reaching for the only letter from Hanschen the boys in his barrack hadn't found and ripped to shreds. Beside the faded script that he must have read and re-read a thousand times, there lay a fresh scrawl in Hanschen's spidery handwriting, glistening in the starlight, the ink was still wet on the page.

"I love you, as I have never loved anyone"

**A/N: So there you go! Next chapter will be a bit happier I promise :p Thanks for all the reviews! I know there are some technical issues to do with timing and stuff but I think you just have to think of the whole story as a bit A/U :)**


	4. Does it matter?

Does it matter?

Hanschen watched as Ernst moaned softly in his sleep, the younger boy had been flinching and twisting through his nightmares but now he slept more calmly, nuzzling his head into Hanschen's shoulder. The moonlight through the small window of the army supplies vehicle made Ernst's already pale skin glow with a kind of iridescent eeriness that intrigued and frightened Hanschen. It had turned colder, and Hanschen's fingers were numb.

He pulled the coarse army blanket closer around them wanting to shut out the prying eyes that would condemn the two heads, one dark, one fair, for resting together on the single pillow. The truck rattled onwards through the night and Hanschen planted a small kiss on Ernst's nose, he felt Ernst open his eyes slightly, his mouth breaking into a small smile and then, suddenly there was shock, and fear in his voice.

"What are you doing here?!"

Hanschen was taken aback; this was not the usual kind of reaction he got when he ended up in Ernst's bed. "What do you mean 'what am I doing here'" he retorted, still a little shocked at Ernst's tone.

"The General! Lausanne! Why aren't you on the other truck?" Ernst's eyes were wide now; he gripped onto Hanschen's arms as the two sat facing each other in the middle of piles and piles of army blankets, medical supplies and rations packets.

"Well do you want me to be on the other truck?" Hanschen teased

"No of course not" Ernst replied "but Hanschen-" his voice was fearful now, "When they find you we'll be-"

"Does it matter?"

"Of course it matters! I love you Hanschen, you heard what the General said, I can't watch them hang you, I can't-"

"Then I'll make sure they do you first!"

"That's not funny!" Ernst was almost in tears now,

"Hey, come on, Shhhhhh" Hanschen reached to kiss away the tracks of tears that formed a silvery pathway down Ernst's cheek only to find a hand pushing his chest away.

"Please. Don't-"

"Please Ernst-" Hanschen began to trace butterfly kisses across Ernst's neck, Ernst felt his head lean back against the cold metal wall of the army truck.

"What's the average life expectancy for a private on the front line with less than three days training? A week? Two weeks?" Hanschen continued to trace patterns across Ernst's forearm with his fingertips, ever so lightly so that every time Ernst leaned into his touch he pulled away.

"Don't say that," mumbled Ernst "don't think like that, what good does it do?"

"I'm just being realistic, look- we might not have much time left, I want to spend my time with you-"

"And there'll be time, weeks, months, years, whatever you want- We're going to come out of this alive," Ernst gasped as Hanschen's deft fingers reached his stomach, but his dark eyes remained fixed on Hanschen's blue ones, "you know we are,"

Hanschen stared at the floor, his eyes were confused and angry, his hand still resting on Ernst's, there was something about the pale, raven haired boy in front of him that made him want to believe that everything would be ok. Something in him was starting to change, he was starting to break, he was falling and by the way that Ernst reached up and stroked his cheek, Hanschen knew that Ernst had fallen too.

"Run away with me," Hanschen said suddenly

"What?" once again it was Ernst's turn to look confused.

"To England, once this is all over, run away with me"

"You're mad," Ernst laughed softly,

"You said we'd get out of this alive, I believe you, so once the war is over lets go, leave all this behind, start out somewhere new!"

Ernst stared up at Hanschen through the dark of the interior, their bodies met and Ernst bit softly down on Hanschen's lower lip, "now who's the sentimentalist?" he laughed.

Hanschen smirked, he knew that now was not the time to push Ernst any further on the subject, and that was fine with him, "What can I say maybe you're rubbing off on me?"

The army truck rattled onwards towards the battlefield, their clothes lay forgotten amidst heaps of supplies. This was one last night of love, one last night of ecstasy, and as the sounds of the shells and gunfire drifted closer through the night they both knew that it was one last night of peace.

**A/N: Thanks for all the lovely reviews :) I really appreciate them. Anyways I'm off to a gig in London tomorrow so probably wont update. Thanks for reading!**

**xxx**


	5. Icarus Allsorts

Icarus Allsorts

Ernst woke early, the truck had come to a standstill and the misty morning light drifted through the small dirty window of the vehicle. He smiled down at a sleeping Hanschen who was currently curled up amidst the tangle of blankets.

Ernst turned onto his side so that their noses were almost touching, for someone so full of exhaustive energy that lead Ernst in spirals and never quite let him catch his breath; Hanschen was surprisingly at peace in the early morning. A blush crept across Ernst's cheeks as he remembered all that had happened the previous night. He sighed and lightly stroked the hair of the sleeping blonde, gazing at the rise and fall of his chest and listening to his deep steady breathing.

"Ernst" Hanschen's eyes were closed but a smile played on his lips "stop watching me sleep and find something to do"

Ernst sighed happily and pulled himself up into a sitting position, the sound of gunshots made him flinch.

"Ernst?" Hanschen seemed concerned at the movement, "Are you ok?"

Ernst didn't have time to reply, he heard the sound of a door being unbolted, the clang of someone climbing to wrench up the shutters on the truck. Suddenly aware of just how little he and Hanschen were currently wearing Ernst grabbed his trousers from underneath Hanschen who was still dozing and began to pull them on hastily.

"What are you doing?" the blonde mumbled sleepily

"They're coming-" Ernst replied in a desperate whisper, the door was flung open and Ernst flung a blanket over Hanschen followed by several large sacks of army supplies.

"OW!"

"Excuse me Private Robel, what was that?" The driver, another general was now standing just outside the open doors of the truck.

Ernst tried not to look suspicious, despite that he was surrounded by blankets as well as various personal items of Hanschen's and the fact that his trousers were only pulled half way up.

"Ow… Ow are you?" Ernst stuttered

"Ow am I?" the general repeated, his voice dripping with contempt.

Ernst waited, his breathing shallow, Hanschen's hand tracing patterns on his bare back from underneath the blanket was not helping.

"Yes sir," Ernst continued, trying to seem nonchalant, as Hanschen's hand dipped lower in revenge "Its how they speak, in, in um in England!"

"Ah!" the general said approvingly, "getting to know the enemy, that's what I like to see boy, now unload the supplies and strap them onto the horses and report back to me in an hour, I'll be at base camp."

"Yes sir," Ernst replied, open mouthed and extremely relieved.

The general eyed him angrily, "Better get dressed lad; anyone'd think you'd had someone in there with you."

Ernst felt Hanschen tense underneath the blanket.

"It was just hot in there, sir" Ernst replied, trying to keep his tone even.

"You sure? Fraternization's not the sort of thing you want to get mixed up in round here"

"I'm not mixed up"

"Of course you're not son," the general growled, "but if I see any funny business- any local girls creeping out of your quarters at first light-"

"That's really not something you have to worry about. Sir,"

"Good." The general's tone was final. "Now Private Ferdinand here will help you unload the supplies. Report to me in an hour."

"Yes sir"

Ernst fastened his trousers and jumped down of the back of the truck. The ground shook as shells exploded in the distance. A skinny boy with a small moustache stood waiting; his brown hair was messy and almost out of control like it was being pulled by some invisible force in every direction at once.

"Hello." He said, smiling

"Hello" Ernst replied, smiling politely back.

The boy was eying him quizzically, he seemed somewhat amused.

"What is it?" Ernst questioned.

The boy started to laugh, "You know that blanket behind you keeps moving right?"

Ernst whirled round, only to find the blanket shaking slightly as Hanschen tried not to laugh beneath it.

The boy started to pick up boxes of medical equipment and load them onto the horses, "Look- what was your name?"

"Ernst," Ernst replied nervously, trying unsuccessfully to conceal the person underneath the blanket.

"Well Ernst, I know why you were on the supplies strip 'alone' and not back at the barracks completing your training."

Ernst shuddered, trying to decide if the wiry boy was a friend to be trusted or another enemy to be feared. "You do?"

"I do,"

Ernst held his breath

"Why don't you take the blanket off your friend there," the boy laughed, "he must be nearly suffocating"

Ernst was confused, "what?"

"Come on!" Private Ferdinand smiled, pulling the blanket off Hanschen who had thankfully managed to pull on most of his clothes beneath the covering, "there we go, much better."

Ernst was still staring at the skinny boy in front of him, "what?"

"Honestly Ernst," Hanschen replied sarcastically, "If you keep saying that we'll be here till the wars over" Hanschen pulled on his shirt and jumped down off the back of the truck. "Now listen," Hanschen's face was dangerously close to Ferdinand's "you say anything about this, to anyone, and I swear to god I'll-"

"It's ok!" Ferdinand exclaimed raising his hands in surrender, "its ok! I'm not going to tell, jeez I just thought I could offer you both some help!"

Hanschen stepped back from the brown haired boy and let against the side of the truck his eyes closed, "I'm sorry," he stated regaining his usual composure, he held out his hand to the boy who two minutes ago he had thought to be an enemy.

"Private Robel- Hanschen Robel, pleased to meet you, where will you be heading back to once all this is over?"

The brunette took his hand happily, "Well Robel, Hanschen Robel, Ferdinand Ferdinand at your service. I'm headed back to Berlin around Christmas"

Hanschen raised one eyebrow, "Ferdinand Ferdinand?

The boy looked at the ground embarrassed, "I had cruel parents"

"Berlin?" Ernst questioned, intrigued.

"That's right" Ferdinand replied, "It's the place to be, big cultural city," he glanced at Hanschen, "very liberal, accepting if you catch my drift. They say you can be anyone you want in Berlin."

"Really?" Ernst glanced over at Hanschen he could tell what he was thinking.

"Really." Private Ferdinand replied. "Look, I've been here a while now, I know the ropes, what do you say I help you out?"

"we would very much appreciate it" Hanschen had thrown on his military greatcoat and was now helping to load up the supplies.

"There's a company, leaving for the front line in about an hour" Ferdinand continued, "I reckon I could get you in."

Hanschen eyed the boy, the blonde's eyes almost looked scared, "why would we want to do that?"

"I know, I'm sorry, but it's the only way you'll be able to stay together. If you stay here someone's bound to ask questions and you'll be killed for certain, I can't see that happen to another person I know." Ferdinand spoke quickly, rushing his words as if he was trying to render what he said less painful.

Hanschen placed a hand on Ferdinand's arm, "you knew some one who-"

Ferdinand pushed away the hand, smiling weakly, "yes, Franz, my- my- it doesn't matter." He seemed to be fighting back tears, "caught us behind the bushes, firing squad, he was seventeen."

"I'm sorry"

"Don't be"

"But still-"

"Please- the only reason I'm still here is because they made me swear I'd expose anyone else like me"

"And would you?"

"Of course not," the boy said softly, "I'm helping you aren't I?"

Hanschen reached out a hand and took Ernst's in his, "thank you," his eyes were sincere.

"we'll find some way to pay you back, I promise-" Ernst placed an arm around Ferdinand's shoulders.

The brown haired boy's bright smile was back, "Don't worry about it," he shrugged away Ernst's arm and hitched himself up onto the back of the waiting horse, "company's over by the barracks, about to leave, you'd better hurry!"

Ernst and Hanschen grabbed there few possessions and started over towards the waiting soldiers, they were both a little hesitant,

"Don't worry," Ferdinand smiled, "When all this is over I'll see you in Berlin."


	6. Into Battle

A/N: This chapter is waaay darker than the previous few, but I promise things will get happier! Thank you for all the lovely reviews :)

Into Battle

Hanschen's brain ached, the merciless iced east wind ripped through the labyrinth of trenches that had become his supposed sanctuary from the madness of battle. He had not slept. The sounds of successive streaks of bullets and the rapid rattle of gunfire kept him awake through the long night. His fingers were numb from the freezing muddy water at the bottom of the trench. Ernst should be making his way back from the night watch by now.

So far they had done relatively little fighting, but the endless monotony of sitting waiting, constantly on edge, for any sign of the enemy, was taking its toll on them both. Hanschen frowned and pulled his greatcoat closer around his shivering body, the frost puckered on his forehead. Where was Ernst?

Suddenly he heard shouts, a commotion building just around the corner of his section of the dug-out.

"Ernst?" he called, scrambling to his feet, "Ernst is that you?"

"Jesus Christ!" the exclamation seemed like one of exasperation but it came from the smiling face of Private Ferdinand, who was currently sitting slumped opposite Hanschen wrapped up in so many blankets that only a tiny part of his face poked out from beneath them. "Can't you forget about that boy for even a minute?" he joked.

Hanschen did not laugh, he paced up and down, looking for some sign, "He's been gone for nearly four hours" he replied, his tone betrayed his concern.

Ferdinand moved closer to Hanschen, lowering his voice,

"Look, ever since I arrived yesterday all you've done is talk about him, or talk to him, you're making people suspicious-"

"As if I care," Hanschen retorted, "he's my-" he faltered, "I mean I lo-" the other soldiers had started to look round, Hanschen hastily looked back towards where the noises were coming from. "Ernst should be back by now" he repeated.

"Ernst, Ernst, Ernst" came a disgruntled voice from beside him, "he's all you ever bloody talk about. I don't care if he's your 'best friend from back home' the rest of us are sick to death of hearing about him from you every time he's gone for more than four seconds." Hanschen turned on the fat blonde boy, and was just about to respond when-

"Hanschen!"

"Ernst?"

The mad gusts of wind were tearing through Ernst's raven black hair, he was covered in mud.

"Enemy troops," Ernst gasped, it looked as if he had been running, "approaching fast, the General's say we're going into battle."

"Come on men!" the voice of the General tore past Ernst, offending their ears, "Jump to it everyone, this is not a drill, over the top, go GO! GO! NOW!"

Hanschen stole one last look over at Ernst and then they were caught in the blind frenzy.

Hands of the Generals grasped at their uniforms pushing them up onto the battlefield so that they barely had time to grasp ammunition. And before they knew it they were out there. Exposed. And instantly the whole sky burned. Fire and ice met as the bullets sprayed down upon them both. They threw themselves to the ground dragging their bodies through the thick mud and barbed wire. Hanschen heard a sickening crack as the body of the fat blonde boy fell beside him, blood began to ooze from his skull.

Somewhere in the distance people were screaming, the cold inhuman sound rang through the air. For their mothers. For their sweethearts. For Germany. Ernst's body jolted away from the corpse that now lay beside him, white eyes writhed in the sick hanging face of the dead soldier, blood gargling in his throat from the froth corrupted lungs. Now Ernst was screaming too, but no sound came out. He closed his eyes pulled the trigger of his pistol and fired blindly into the distance. Further and further they went, deeper into the battlefield, they couldn't stop. How could they? The raging sounds of battle went shrieking through Ernst's head. For the first time in his life Hanschen was truly afraid. There was no clarity, no hope, not in no man's land. Only fear, only the monstrous anger of the guns, the unreal city of the dead and wounded who hacked out their final breaths into the misty air.

And suddenly it was nightfall, and Ernst was pulling Hanschen's limp body into a giant shell crater, keeping his voice low, for the enemy were close by, he tried to speak. His voice rasped and caught in his throat,

"Hanschen? Hanschen wake up."

There were gashes across Hanschen's cheeks, and a bullet wound across Ernst's forehead. Ernst wiped away the blood impatiently.

"Hanschen please-" he begged. He reached into the mud and caught a handful of icy water that slithered across his palm. He splashed it into Hanschen's filthy face.

Hanschen coughed and spluttered, wincing in pain. He sat up grasping onto Ernst's wrist. He was crying.

Hanschen opened his mouth desperately, trying to form a sentence, but nothing came out. The sobs stuck in his throat but tears poured down his cheeks making tracks through the dirt.

Ernst smoothed down Hanschen's blonde hair and pulled him closer to his chest, holding him tightly and breathing in his familiar scent. It seemed to calm Hanschen but his shoulders still shook with misery and fear.

Ernst took Hanschen's face in his hands and wiped away the tears. He pulled their lips together and what started softly quickly turned fierce and passionate, a celebration of life that neither could quite believe they had hung on to. Ernst felt Hanschen's tears wet his cheek.  
"Shhhhhh" he whispered, and he turned so that they were both lying down, his arms wrapped tightly around Hanschen.

"It's going to be ok"

Hanschen nodded, tears still running down his cheeks, it was what he wanted to believe

Ernst gently kissed the top of Hanschen's head and the two lay together in the shell hole. Drifting into an uneasy sleep. The tormented world around them was silent at last.

Except-

"Franz? Franz? Please help me? Why are you leaving me on my own?"

The dying cries of Private Ferdinand rang through the cold night air

"Please help me. Why doesn't anybody come?"


	7. Strange meeting

"Come on! Tie his hands and load him onto the cart, don't be so slow, come on, come on!"

"Shhhh! You bloody fool, do you want him to wake up?!"

"I'm just saying-"

"Oh you're _just_ saying!" the scruffy man dressed in army uniform gesticulated overdramatically "Oh well that's fine then, perfect in fact! And when the sergeant gets back why don't you _just_ say-"

Ernst's head throbbed, he tried to reach out for Hanschen's hand but found his arms were bound with thick rope, he opened his eyes a fraction, and saw a gun on the ground by his head.

"Oh come on lads stop your quarrelling, look, when we get back to the dugout why don't I make us all a nice cup of tea-" a smaller man with a moustache attempted to calm the situation.

"Fat lot of good teas going to do us when they find out we've lost the captive because _someone _woke him up before we could take him away, fine sought for her majesty's army you've turned out to be!"

"What shall we do about the other one?"

"Which one?"  
"The blonde one"

The scruffy man reached down into the shell hole and shook Hanschen's shoulders. No reply.

"Leave him."

Ernst was about to open his mouth when a gag was tied across it, strong hands picked him up and dumped him onto the back of the cart.

The youngest of the three soldiers looked up at his superior pleadingly, "Private Sassoon don't you think we should at least-"

"Now come on Private Owen," the scruffy man continued, holding his head high.

"Its just, when we found them they were all curled up together, they looked so peaceful. It seems cruel to capture one and not the other."

Ernst began to drift out of consciousness, he saw nothing, he felt nothing.

Private Sassoon turned, "Private Brooke what do you think?"

Private Brooke rubbed his hand over his stubbly chin, staring across the wasteland of shell craters and barbed wire; the persistent rain stung his face "I think they're lucky the battle's moved east, one more day here and our friend on the cart over there would have probably been trampled to death by the horses, poor sod."

"And what about our friend _here_?" Private Owen said softly indicating Hanschen's bruised form which still lay, crumpled, in the crater.

"He won't last much longer," Private Brooke said grimly, "And he's not our bloody friend! He's a German, for Christ's sake Owen"

"But-"

"Private Owen please!" Private Sassoon was securing the locks on the cart whilst attempting to tame his untameable brown hair and reprimand the younger man all at once. "Remember your training, they are the enemy! Now lets take him back to base, driver, lead the way!" he slapped one of the horses on its flank and it began to pull the cart and its prisoner away,

"Quick march boys." Private Sassoon grabbed his rifle from the ground "For England!"

"For England" the two men repeated.

SPRINGAWAKENINGSPRINGAWAKENINGSPRINGSPRINGAWAKENINGSPRING AWAKENING

"Funny dark hair"

"Gosh look how pale his skin is, do you suppose they all look like that in Germany?"

"He mightn't be from Germany, they say the Austrians are fighting too now,"

"How strange…"

The two young women were gathered around the young soldier, they had been up with him most of the night, the single oil lamp filled the small underground room with a hazy glow. The boy hadn't regained consciousness yet, but his bleeding had just about stopped.

The slim blonde haired girl pressed a gauze pad to the young soldier's forehead.

"How old do you think he must be? Sixteen, seventeen maybe?"

"At a stretch, in that uniform he barely looks a day over twelve,"

"Oh don't be silly," the slim girl giggled affectionately, she felt the soldier tense beneath her fingers "Goodness I think he's waking up,"

"I'll run and get the Sergeant"

The room slowly came into focus, the blonde women jolted backwards, away from the bed, as if she was afraid of the raven haired boy before her.

"Hanschen? Bist das du? (**Hanschen Is that you?)**"

"I'm sorry dear, I- I can't understand you, are you hungry? Cold? Does it hurt?"

"Hanschen? Wo ist er? Was haben Sie ihm angetan?" **(Hanschen? is he? What have you done to him?)**

The young girl in her nurse's uniform grasped the boy's hands pleadingly,

"Please- I can't understand what you're saying, just sit back down-"

But they boy's fear and anger was rising, there was panic in his youthful eyes, he pulled his hands roughly out of the young girl's grasp.

"Lassen Sie mich gehen! bitte! ich muß ihn finden-" **(let me go! Please! I have to find him-)**

Just then the Sergeant burst through the door of the bunker, he was tall and strident with a bolting look in his cold blue eyes. The girl cowered in the corner. The soldier looked up into his unfeeling face, trying to fight back tears.

"Tie him to the chair"

The boy began to struggle

"Please sir," the blonde girl ran forward, "he's been injured, he's obviously distressed, let me-"

"Alright," the sergeant cut her off, he threw a pair of handcuffs and a set of torn, blue striped pyjamas in the direction of the single bed, "I will return to question him in twenty minutes."

And with that he marched out of the room, giving the boy one last glare before closing the door.

The boy began to shiver, "Bitte-" (**Please-) **he began

"Shhhhhh," the girl placed a finger to his lips, "What is your name?"

The boy stared at her with blank desperate eyes, he didn't seem to care that he couldn't understand her, it was as if his mind was still back on the battlefield."

"Ok," the girl gestured to herself, "me Emily," she gestured at the boy, "you…"

The boy's face was in his hands, "Ernst" he said.

"Ernst" the girl smiled, "And Hanschen is?"

Ernst looked up at the mention of Hanschen's name

"Alles" he said sadly Hanschen ist alles" **(Everything, Hanschen is everything)**

SPRINGAWAKENINGSPRINGAWAKENINGSPRINGAWAKENINGSPRINGAWAKENING

It was midnight, the interrogation had passed and now Ernst lay, bruised, on the floor of a small stone cell, shivering in thin pyjamas. The nurses stood the other side of the bars, watching him sleep. The only light came through the small barred window on the other side of the cell.

"Did the sergeant get much out of him?"

"Oh Molly, it was horrible, they beat him until he was nearly black and blue, and still he didn't speak, I don't think he even knew what they were asking him. And yet still they went on beating and beating. I could hardly bear it."

"He's only a private; I shouldn't think he would be able to tell them a thing even if he did speak English."

"Exactly," Emily paused, brushing her light hair out of her face, "matron says he's to have one phone call, and then they're going to take him away."

"where to?"

"God knows," the young girl's voice caught in her throat, "the sergeant only says they'll do what they have to do to protect Britain."

Molly placed an arm around her shoulders, she looked sympathetically down at the sleeping boy "come on, let's help him make his phone call."

They left Ernst in the telephone room and sat outside waiting, the sound of his soft voice drifted through the wall, but he sounded distressed, as if he was crying.

"Briony-" Emily whispered, gesturing at the short, plump nurse who was crossing the hallway, "You speak German don't you?"

Briony looked worried, "a little, only from school-"

"What's he saying?" Molly whispered, curiosity overcoming her

Briony frowned in concentration, pressing her ear close to the door. She listened for a few minutes and then pulled away slowly, tears glimmering in her eyes.

"Briony what is it?" Emily pleaded, "What did he say?"

"He's speaking to his mother-" a tear slid down Briony's cheek, "he says, if someone called Hanschen should ever return home, that she should tell him that he loved him, with his whole heart, and that nothing in the world could ever change that."

**A/N: Thanks for reading, will hopefully include some more Hernst stuff in the next chapter :) **


	8. Dulce et decorum est

Dulce et decorum est

Ernst lay on the floor of his cell. He was well and truly stuck now. A small pool of light from half-moon illuminated the stone floor, the iridescence of its silver dribbled surface reflected in Ernst's dark blue eyes. He was crying. What had he been thinking making that phone call? Now Hanschen was gone, he was stuck in some god forsaken prisoner of war camp and he had no home to go back to.

Ernst shuddered at the thought of Hanschen lying on the battlefield barely breathing. Why couldn't he have found some way off the cart? Why couldn't he have found some way to convince them to leave him? Or take them both?

No. That was ridiculous; Ernst twitched and scratched the purple bruises on his arms. He could barely speak English let alone try and formulate diplomatic relations with the other side in the middle of a battlefield whilst severely injured. Ernst rubbed the marks on his already too thin wrists where the handcuffs had cut into his pale flesh; anyway, he wouldn't let anyone do to Hanschen what the Sergeant had done to him.

The interrogation had lasted for nearly and hour, the Sergeant screaming and screaming and screaming, his bolting blue eyes too close to the dark ones that did not understand what he was trying to say. By the end of it Ernst had given up screaming back, exhausted he let the jumble of tangled words assault his ear drums each one accompanied with a slap across his face. When they finally unbound his arms from the chair he was nearly unconscious.

Ernst felt weak, but now they knew he couldn't tell them anything useful about Germany's plans, he was sure to be sent away. Put to death? He wasn't sure. He had to get out.

Ernst pulled himself up; using the bars of his cell as a support he rattled the small window in vain. It would not come lose, and the empty clanging sound rang too loudly through the corridor.

A harsh shout that Ernst could not understand came from the guard on duty. He heard the door open, voices-

Ernst waited, on edge, after a few minutes he heard footsteps. He shrank to the back of his cell. Two young women were crouching by the bars, one was the plump German speaking girl he recognised from earlier that night, the other was slim and blonde, the girl from the interrogation room, the girl who had asked him about Hanschen-

The blonde girl seemed to be whispering something to her fellow nurse; the plump girl listened attentively and then began to speak.

"Haben Sie keine Angst, wir sind gekommen um Ihnen zu helfen zu entkommen. Nehmen Sie diesen Schlüssel, er öffnet das Fenster, laufen Sie so schnell wie Sie können."** ("don't be frightened, we have come to help you escape, take this key, it will open the window, run as fast as you can.")**

Ernst nodded fervently, grasping the key in his hands, "Danke" **(thank you)**

And with only the thought of getting to Hanschen in his mind, he wrenched open the window, and hurled himself into the cool night air.


	9. For two voices

For two voices

Hanschen had been walking for days now, his blonde hair filthy from the mud, his uniform torn and his face scratched. He had woken to find Ernst gone, the cart tracks on the ground made him sure that the raven haired boy had been taken. Ernst was still alive, he had to be; the other side did not just take dead bodies from their resting place, did they?

With the determination of a mad man Hanschen had strapped his broken arm to a thin piece of shrapnel and had started to crawl out of the bloody heat of battle in the direction of the forests that lined the muddy plains where an unjust and futile war was currently being fought.

The half-light of the dusk streamed down through the trees, an eerie wailing noise told him that there were bombers overhead. He turned a corner abruptly, burrowing through the tangle of creepers, trees and bushes until he reached an open thicket deep in the centre of the forest. The sounds of the outside world seemed muffled now, and the light was fading fast. He needed a place to sleep.

"For God's sake!" he shouted, angry now, realising that he had passed the same burnt out hovel that had once passed for a bomb shelter for the third time that day.

It was getting dark, Hanschen was starving; he hadn't had a proper meal since they'd left base camp in the truck over a week ago. Although seeds, berries and the occasional dead rabbit were preferable to what the cooks had served at school, they did not satisfy Hanschen's appetite by any means. The forest seemed to be closing in on him, surrounded by the gnarled roots of trees that bore no fruit he lashed out angrily.

"What have I done to deserve this?"

The broken bones in his arm jolted painfully and tore through his already slashed skin as he pounded his fist against the bark of a nearby tree.

"Stupid bloody war. Come on then? You've taken everything, why don't you just let me go?"

His pleas fell on deaf ears.

He wrenched his last remaining belongings out of his pack in a fit of rage hurling them as far as he could, the pistol, the rounds of ammunition, Ernst's letters, all the time tears choking in his throat as he screamed, a raw animal howl that tore from his lips.

"That's it! I've had enough! I want out! Do you hear me? It's been three days, I just want-"

Hanschen paused, he was kneeling on the ground now, his head in his hands. He hated to admit it, he attempted to rip away the bandage that Ernst had so gently tied around his wounded head.

"I just want him."

Just seeing Ernst again could heal everything, Hanschen was beginning to feel dizzy, he had lost a lot of blood, he clutched at the nearest branch, staggering a little, so dark-

The sounds of battle raged through Hanschen's head, every time he closed his eyes all he saw was the blood, the body of the fat boy crumpling and falling to the ground, brains oozing from his skull, then Ernst, Ernst with a bullet wound across his forehead, Ernst brushing away his tears, Ernst holding him close in that exploded shell hole and then, nothing.


	10. Counter attack

Counter-attack

A/N: Lots of updates cos I was inspired by seeing Spring Awakening in London for the second time on Friday :D

Ernst's breathing was heavy, he pounded forward another few miles, urging his body onwards and then stopped, panting, to rest. It had been six hours and he had barely stopped running. The camp seemed far behind him but now he was lost deep within a forest. He slid miserably down against the side of a tree. He was never going to find Hanschen, or probably any kind of civilisation for that matter.

Everything had been perfect before the war, of course they had had to hide their relationship from people around them, but at least they'd been together, now even if they found each other they could never go back, and it was all his fault. Ernst closed his eyes as he thought of that phone call, alone, bruised and bleeding in the freezing cold communication room.

"Mother-"

"Ernst! Darling, is there something wrong?"

"No mamma, I'm fine I-"

"Are you sure? You know, you don't sound fine."

"Yes mamma, I'm alright"

"Where are you? Still in the training barracks?"

"Yes mamma."

"Then what are you calling for boy! You no your father doesn't like me to spend too long on the phone!"

I was just calling to say-"

"Yes?"

"If I don't see you again-"

"Now Ernst really! There is no need for that kind of talk"

"But mamma-"

"I simply will not have it!"

"I love you and also-"

"Yes?"

"What?"

"You were going to say something else-"

"I was?"

"You were"

"Can I speak to Anike?"

"First finish what you were about to say."

A silence, Ernst took a deep breath.

"You know, the boy, who they drafted in with me?"

"Hanschen Rilow? Yes I know him."

"Well, I've lost him, I mean, we've been split apart, and I'm not sure if I'm going to find him again."

"Yes…"

"And if I don't make it back, I want you to tell him-"

"Ernst, where is this going?"

"tell him that, that I love him, and nothing in the world could ever change that."

And all Ernst heard was the slamming down of the telephone receiver and the cold empty tone as the line went dead.

Ernst's tears were misting over his eyes, the forest around him blurred and suddenly he thought he saw a blonde figure wandering through the trees.

Hanschen?

"HANSCHEN?" he brushed the tears furiously out of his eyes, scrambling to his feet.

The figure was still moving away from him into the distance, he was to far to hear his shouts. The boy looked about Hanschen's height, Ernst wished he had stopped to memorise every line of Hanschen's body before they had been torn apart, the turn of his shoulder, the soft curve of his lips, now he could hardly make the figure out through the trees.

His uniform, was it German? It was grey? Was his uniform grey? Ernst looked down at the ragged prisoner of war uniform he now was, he didn't remember.

With all his remaining effort, Ernst grabbed onto the branch of a tree to hold himself up, the final cry tore from his throat.

"HANSCHEN?!"

The hazy figure had turned round, Ernst could barely make out his muddy features, his limp and broken body was nothing like the muscular frame that Ernst had once known. The figure spoke softly,

"Ernst?"

And then he knew. Hanschen was sprinting towards him; Ernst started forwards,

"Oh God, Oh God, Oh God-"

And finally their bodies met, Ernst smashed their lips together desperately, he had missed this, the taste, the touch, too much. He felt hot breath on his neck as they kissed; trying desperately to get enough of each other, but it was never enough. Hanschen's hands roamed through Ernst's hair and finally, through tears, he held Ernst's face in his hand, resting their foreheads together.

"I thought I was never going to-" Ernst began

"Shhhhhh," Hanschen sobbed, "I know- I'm sorry-"

"Don't be"

They looked deep into each others eyes, Hanschen's were wild, elated, that dead vacant look from the battlefield had disappeared, and now for the first time out loud,

"I love you"

Ernst smiled, and the two stood together in the clearing of the forest, as the rosy light of the new summer shone down upon them both.

"I love you too"


	11. Spring Offensive

Spring Offensive

"Halted against the shade of a last hill,  
They fed, and, lying easy, were at ease  
And, finding comfortable chests and knees  
Carelessly slept."

Hanschen snuggled closer to Ernst in their single bed, in Schoneburg on the lower east side of Berlin. The sun was just coming up; throwing strange rays of pale light across the jumble of blankets that surrounded them both. He breathed in Ernst's soft scent and glanced across at the calendar Melchior had sent them from New York City, 'May 28th 1930' along side a faded black and white photo of two women seated on a park bench. Ernst mumbled something in his sleep,

"s'time to get up'

"No, no dear Ernst," Hanschen smiled, nuzzling into Ernst's neck and making him giggle, "you must be mistaken, it's still only just gone six"

Ernst turned to face Hanschen, his dark eyes mischievous and his skin pale vivid in the morning light, "then we should have been up fifteen minutes ago-"

"Then we're already late, why bother, let's just stay here for today"

"You know we can't do th-"

Ernst was cut off as Hanschen began to trail kisses down his chest,

"Ohhh.." he closed his eyes as the moan caught in his throat, more than ten years later, they had shared so much, and yet the blonde boy's slightest touch still sent jolts through his stomach. But Ernst had found a few tricks of his own over the years and soon Hanschen was pinned down beneath him, gasping as Ernst lightly trailed his fingers across his skin. The battered alarm clock lay forgotten on the floor.

"But many there stood still  
To face the stark, blank sky beyond the ridge,  
Knowing their feet had come to the end of the world."

It seemed that this was everything, they were together and nothing else in the world mattered. Time and time again they found themselves lost in each other's thoughts

"Marvelling they stood, and watched the long grass swirled  
By the May breeze, murmurous with wasp and midge,  
For though the summer oozed into their veins  
Like the injected drug for their bones' pains,  
Sharp on their souls hung the imminent line of grass,  
Fearfully flashed the sky's mysterious glass."

To be together, like this was to forget, the war, the horrors of the battlefield. As they dressed each other silently, shirts, waistcoat and jacket covered up their scars.

"Come on!" Hanschen exasperated, re-entering their small kitchen to see Ernst still gazing out of the window at the street below. Ernst tore his eyes away from the red, black and white flag being hoisted into the sky above a building a few streets away. "Will we be alright, do you think?"

Hanschen looked confused, until Ernst indicated with a nod of his head what was happening. Hanschen looked at the floor,

"I don't know, we'll do what we must"

Ernst nodded; he reached out a hand and took Hanschen's in his,

"Let's go."

"Hour after hour they ponder the warm field --  
And the far valley behind, where the buttercups  
Had blessed with gold their slow boots coming up,  
Where even the little brambles would not yield,  
But clutched and clung to them like sorrowing hands;  
They breathe like trees unstirred."

Through the 1920s the city had been everything Private Ferdinand had promised it would be, vibrant, liberal and accepting, they had thrived there. The university provided them with good jobs, Hanschen teaching History and English, Ernst English and Drama with honesty and enjoyment and none of the cruel sadism that had riddled from the professors of their own school. Except in the very dead of night, they rarely thought of the tortures of war and even when the nightmares found them, they had each other. But things were changing. The political uniforms in the street told them that. As outspoken intellectuals and as lovers it was no longer safe. They had to leave, and it had to be soon.

Ernst smiled happily as they stepped onto the boat, it really had been like a whirlwind from one place to another with the two of them.

Ernst's mother had informed Hanschen's family of Ernst's message, and soon the whole village knew. They had returned briefly only to find one fresh gravestone for each of them, blank except for the words 'Private Rilow' and 'Private Robel' there own society had forsaken them. Preferring to presume them dead rather than face the truth, their families never spoke of them again. Except one little girl with raven black hair, who spoke often of her big brother, she clutched his crumpled picture in her small fist, and made up stories on her own.

Berlin, England, Switzerland, back to Berlin again and now on to-

"Where are we going this time?"

"Hmmm, not sure, I think I feel like we've exhausted travel in Europe, don't you?"

"But-"

Ernst smiled, pressing a soft kiss to Hanschen's cheek, he felt him lean into his lips.

"Don't worry," he whispered, Hanschen's eyes were staring intently down at him, "we'll find somewhere, together, we always do."

"But what say such as from existence' brink  
Ventured but drave too swift to sink.  
The few who rushed in the body to enter hell,  
And there out-fiending all its fiends and flames  
With superhuman inhumanities,  
Long-famous glories, immemorial shames --  
And crawling slowly back, have by degrees  
Regained cool peaceful air in wonder --  
Why speak they not of comrades that went under?"

The End

A/N: Thank you to everyone who has reviewed and supported along the way, you've been fantastic :D


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